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how to communicate your feelings

Getting in touch with your feelings can help you to understand yourself. And sharing your feelings helps other people to understand you better.

Being understood and accepted are universal human needs. Thus, when you discuss your internal experiences and feelings, you’re more likely to attach in deep and meaningful ways. You are also more inclined to get your needs fulfilled, resulting in happier and healthier relationships.

Sharing your emotions can be a daunting proposition. When you share your feelings you allow yourself to be exposed. This vulnerability can be frightening; it renders your receptive to the chance of being hurt, but it can also lead to the deepest relations.

There is no way to completely avoid the chance of being misunderstood, ignored, or judged when you share your feelings. However, employing the strategies below can help you communicate efficiently so that you’re more likely to be understood and validated.

1 Understand your emotions

Before it is possible to express your feelings, then you have to be aware of what they are. Our busy, noisy lifestyles do not lend themselves to linking with our feelings. Consider taking ten minutes every day for the sole purpose of considering your own feelings. I find choosing a stroll helps me get clarity, but you can experiment with sitting in various places, simply thinking or writing down your own thoughts. Try to identify your feelings, remembering that you are able to have more than one feeling simultaneously. Research what’s been happening in your own life which may be linked to your feelings.

When you understand your feelings, you can determine what you want/need and this may be communicated. After he thought about it some more, he found that he is also feeling neglected and lonely. This clarity helped him determine to share that he’s feeling mad and lonely and ask his girlfriend to spend more time with him.

2 Be discerning about who you share with

Your feelings are romantic parts of your self; they shouldn’t be shared with just anyone. Proceed slowly and start by sharing feelings that feel safer and less vulnerable. If they are received well, talk about just a tiny bit more and so on.

3 Respond do not react

Sometimes we make the mistake of trying to convey our feelings at the present time. This tends to lead to blurting things out before we’ve processed them or had a chance to calm down. It is perfectly okay to ask to take a break out of a heated conversation or wait until you’ve had time to prepare before starting a conversation. When he let himself figure out his feelings and needs he put up himself for effective communication.

If you’re wrestling with uncomfortable feelings and will need to get a challenging conversation with a person, I recommend trying these strategies before the conversation: procedure your ideas in a diary or with a supportive buddy; rehearse exactly what you need to say (out loud and/or in writing); do something to de-stress and calm yourself.

4 Find the right time

Be intentional about if you attempt to your feelings. Often people attempt to communicate their requirements in the wrong times — if the other person is distracted, busy, drunk, tired, or in a bad mood. Be sure to approach another person when s/he is available and prepared to give you their attention. Sometimes this means going ahead and asking for time to be set aside.

Finally, I suggest this book entitled (How to Win Friends & Influence People)

Learn more about your feelings in this article

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